The Battle

Everyday is a battle. A struggle to get out of bed. I'm at the point where I just do not care. I know I need to clean my apt but I don't. I know I need to call back the dude about the job and its like nah it can wait. I don't have the desire and or energy to do anything that needs to be done. I went to the doc today to get pain pills for my head and maybe sleeping pills so i could sleep. And I had every attention of talking to him about getting back on the depression pills that I decided to stop taking without telling anyone. But the doctor did not listen to me so now I have to try a new pill and I have no pain pills or sleeping pills and I was so upset, I didn't even bother to talk to him about the depression. I do not care at this point what is causing the headaches. I don't want to try some new damn pill to see if that helps them go away. I've lived with these things my whole and no one seems to know why. I'm tired of the new pills and new test. I just want a pain pill to take when its super bad like now. But no, damn doctor would not listen and so now I have a new damn pill to try and ANOTHER FUCKING MRI to do! I don't have the money for this shit and I'm just done. If the headaches get worse? Oh well. If the depression gets worse? Oh well. So please excuse me while I slide down this slip and slide head first and eyes open and land in the sweet darkness of not FUCKING caring anymore.